FIVE TUNING THE STORY
“The writer’s task is to find the words and the form that allow the reader to see, hear and understand what the writer has experienced.”
The news writer uses everyday words in short sentences and paragraphs, structures the story so that it moves logically from beginning to end and includes quotations, incidents, and specific details that make the story interesting and convincing.
Writers select a style for each story that reflects the nature of the event. A story about a game decided in the last minute may contain unusually short sentences to give a sense of the quick movement of the game, whereas a story about a teacher retiring after many years will have longer sentences and a relaxed pace. Writers are scrupulously careful to keep errors out of their copy- incorrect grammar, misspellings, improper word use. Copy is edited by the writer before turning in it.
Short sentences and ordinary words lead to clarity, one of the most important ingredients of the news story. The news story must be understandable. If it is not, it is words cast to the wind. The good news story has two other ingredients. It is convincing, and it is natural. By this, we mean that the story can be believed and that the style suits the nature of the event.
1. Easy to Understand
Clarity is achieved through familiar language and logical structure. Sentences are short and follow the S-V-O pattern. The story moves in a linear progression. A theme is stated in the lead and immediately developed. If there is more than one theme, the themes are developed in the order stated in the lead. When a delayed lead is used, the incidents and quotes used in the first few paragraphs move directly to the theme.
● Verbs Provide Action
The power of sentences comes from their verbs. Action verbs propel the sentences. They move the subject to the object.
● Know Your Audience
Simplicity and clarity are important because of the different kinds of people who read and listen to news. Most journalists are aware that the public is diverse, and that they must direct their writing at a wide range of readers and listeners.
2. Readability
Studies of written material find sentence length to be a key factor is readability. Some studies also conclude that paragraph length and word length are factors. This table is given to wire service reporters:
Average Sentence Length Readability
8 words or less Very easy to read
11 words Easy to read
14 words Fairly easy to read
17 words Standard
21 words Fairly difficult to read
25 words Difficult to read
29 words or more Very difficult to read
If sentences are long, one way out of the trouble is to cut a word out. A good place to start cutting is with adjectives and adverbs. A sentence that repeats a previous idea should be cut. An old rule for journalists helps to cut sentence length: one idea to a sentence.
Paragraph should not be long. A long paragraph can discourage a reader. By dividing the number of words in the articles by the number of paragraph, an average paragraph length is obtained. Some editor say they prefer no more than 50 to 70 words to a paragraph. One way to keep paragraph length down is to limit paragraphs to no more than three or four sentences.
To test the readability of a story look at:
Sentence pattern – Average number of words per sentence. An average of 20+ means the story is hard to read.
Fog index – Abstract or complex words per sentence. Simple words are understood easily. Replace “rendezvous” with “meeting,” “compelled” with “forced”, and so on.
Human interest – People are interested in people. Name people; show them talking and acting.
3. Convincing
The combination of on-the-scene reporting and persuasive writing carries conviction. By convincing writing we can mean stories that illustrate with examples (show, don’t tell), that quote people involved in the event and that contain specific details.
Writers usually are most convincing when they have witnessed the event they are describing. Watching people act, listening to them speak, the reporter is able to catch the flavor of the event.
● Quotes Convince
Quotes carry conviction. Handling quotes can be an art – the art of knowing when to use direct quotes and when to paraphrase. Not everything a person says should be quoted directly.
Use a direct quotation when :
It is important to put a person on the record with his or her own words.
The quotation sums up what the person is saying
The quotation lets the reader or listener visualize the person or situation.
The quotitions are essential in question and aswer stories such as those about meetings, trials, and confrontations.
Quotes are not only convincing but also memorable.
● Be Specific
Finally, conviction is achieved through specifics. The writer who writes, “There were about a dozen people in the courtroom” is not taken as seriously as the writer who writes, “There are 11 people in the courtroom.” We know that the write who wrote “11” was there.
Readers love details, specific details. Readers can visualize the event if the writer told them specifically, such as the suspect was five-foot-four, thin, wore blue jogging shoes, had a close-cropped haircut and use a small handgun that fit in the palm of his hand.
Notice that the specifics have been linked to particular things that can be seen, touched, smelled, or heard. Writers use images that appeal to the sense to make their specifics spring to life and to give them the exactitude of reality.
Words as well as observations can be abstract. Just as we avoid saying around a dozen or small, we do not use abstractions, such as patriotism, equality, affection, unless they are tied directly to a specific event or situation or we are quoting someone.
● Natural Style
Natural style means the style of the story fits the subject. Words, sentence patterns, even the paragraph lengths are chosen to consistent with the subject matter.
The Shift to Storytelling
Generations of student journalists were given two writing rules:
Structure all stories in the form of an inverted pyramid. This means that all important material is placed high in the story, preferably in the lead.
Leads should answer the questions: 5W + 1H.
Clutter
One of the enemies of clear writing is the cluttered sentence, the sentence that bumps and grinds its way from capital letter to period without regard to meaning, structure and coherence. A sentence makes a single point. Each word is chosen to make that point. The useless words are tossed out. Concrete nouns – the names of specific things – are used instead of vague nouns propped up with adjectives. Action verbs help to move the sentence. Adverbs are unnecessary.
Tell it Simply and Directly
Basically, the story should be told in declarative sentence that pull the reader along. Subject, verb, object, period. A more complicated sentence can lead the writer into trouble.
Clear Writing Muddy Prose
Simple language Flowery language
Active verbs Passive verbs
Straightforward sentence Complex sentence
Tight writing Loose writing
Easily understood Difficult to follow
Rewriting
Good writing is rewriting. Even on deadline, a good writer will take at least 20 or 3o seconds to glance over a piece of copy, not really editing it, but simply because it is the writer’s habit to reflect on what he or she has written before letting go of it.
Here are some checkpoints for the writer as he or she re-reads copy:
Is the lead on target or buried? What is most of the body of the story about? If it is not about the theme selected as the lead, the lead is wrong.
If a delayed lead is used, does the quote or incident move directly into the main theme?
Is the story organized properly, or does it jump from one topic to another and back? Is secondary information placed above primary material in the body?
Does the story move? Don the nouns and verbs carry it forward with an internal momentum? Do the facts that are chosen give movement to the piece?
Do quotes, incidents, details support the lead?
Rewriting Press Releases
One of the most frequently performed tasks in the newsroom is rewriting releases. Publicity and press releases are essential to the news operation because they provide information no news staff is large enough to gather. As much as half to three-fourths of all news can be traced to a press releases, also known as a handout.
Whatever the source, however perfect the material may seem, the reporter always checks before using the release. Nothing is accepted at face value. The first check is with the newspaper files. No matter how searching the reporting and checking may be, however interesting the writing, all this work can be underdone by a small slip, an error in spelling or incorrect grammar.
Muddy Thinking = Mistakes
Every person who works with tools knows just what each tool can do. The auto mechanic would not think of using an air pressure gauge to measure the gap of a spark plug. It makes no sense. Writers sometimes fling words around with that kind of abandon. They reach into their word kit and haul out something that looks or sounds as though it can do the job.
Word Usage
Writers can sometimes profit their mistakes and the mistakes of others. Example: Tragedy is a strong word. Familiar with accounts of people being trampled at rock concerts, the reader expects the worst. What actually happened: A pianist suffered a broken hard and others had cuts and bruises = that is tragedy. The most frequent misuse of language is called cliché.
Cliché
At one time, the writer pick phrases that have already used and overused them so it is called cliché.
Redundancies
Redundancies are repetitions which is not necessary and meaningless. One way to avoid redundancies and other mistakes is to train yourself to be wary of adjectives and adverbs:
totally destroyed – adverb
first annual – adjective
serious crisis – adjective
successfully docked – adverb
Journalese
The dictionary defines journalese as the language style characteristic of newspaper writing. That’s the sanitized version. Among journalists, journalese is known as the combination of clichés, hack writing, overwriting, exhausted phrases and supercharged prose that are the signs of the hopeful beginner or the hopeless veteran.
20 Tips for Good Writing:
1. Be fair. Presenting all sides of as story is not copping out.
2. Observe good taste.
3. Make the lead provocative, clear and simple
4. Sentences should be short.
5. Quotes improve a story. Use them
6. An important story need not be long
7. Select adjectives carefully. Too many are dangerous.
8. Don’t be impressed with an important assignment.
9. Go directly to the source on every story when possible.
10. Leave no reasonable question unanswered. Do not assume readers know the background. And don’t be afraid to write a good story you think readers already know.
11. Be polite, but don’t be servile.
12. Get details. If your congressman wears high-top shoes, scratches his ears and uses a spittoon, you’ve created a word picture.
13. Don’t be afraid to try something that isn’t in the book.
14. Even if you have mastered the language, use short, easy words.
15. Stories are improved by the injection of the time element.
16. After the lead, blend the story from paragraph to paragraph.
17. Don’t insult a race, an ethnic group, a minority group or other separate entity. Identify when it adds information. The distinction is thin at times.
18. Don’t abuse your privileges or the weapons of your industry.
19. Admit errors quickly and fully.
20. Name the source of your story when possible. If it is an expose from a confidential source, protect that source.
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